THE adoption letter: Classic Joey

Season 10. Episode 5: The One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits.
Script courtesy http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/

Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.

Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!

Chandler: Thanks!

Monica: Thank you!

(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)

Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.

Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.

Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".

Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!

Monica: Clearly we were wrong.

Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.

Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.

Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."

Chandler: So excited about your letter!

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Ross: What... what you working on?

Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...

Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?

Joey: What did I just say?

Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change.
Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.

Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!

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Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.

Chandler: (reading) I don’t... uh... understand.

Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?

Monica: (also reading it) It doesn’t make any sense.

Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!

Chandler: On every word?

Joey: Yep!

Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)

Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.

Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?

Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.

Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.

Joey: Why not?

Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!

Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.