I do not like the taste of toothpaste.
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Especially when its green in color and says Palmolive on the cover.
..Hangovers indeed can do weird things to people
Showing posts with label Boy-zone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boy-zone. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Of likes and dislikes
Especially when its green in color and says Palmolive on the cover.
..Hangovers indeed can do weird things to people
Friday, September 19, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
The Reality is *beep beep beep*
Q. Who is the most hard working person at MTV?
a)Rannvijay
b)Raghu
c)The person with his hand on the beeper
Here's one more:a)Rannvijay
b)Raghu
c)The person with his hand on the beeper
Q. Name a 4 letter word that starts with 'F', ends with 'K', and if you can't get one you can use your hands.
A. Fork
What!! You thought I was referring to 'The F word'. Of course not. I refrain from the use of such foul words on this blog. One has to maintain decency. After all, Abhishek-Aishwarya ke hone waale bachhe bhi yeh blog padhte hai :P
But seriously, I cannot digest the appetite of these Reality contestants for The F word. Do none of them have a vocabulary better than a Panchvi pass so that they don't have to resort to use The F word in every sentence. Didn't the contestants learn in their schooling grammar that there are only 3 articles in the English language. And that the usage of The F word should not be synonymous with those of articles.
And whats with all the judges in these reality shows. While some of them are trying to imitate the likes of Simon Cowell, the rest are busy fighting with each other probably trying to convince Ekkkta to cast them in her latest venture, Mahabharata. The judges of Comedy circus are the only ones that seem to be behaving on the saner side. And the show is also pretty good. Good light hearted comedy with lots of variety.
Mere favorite judge is Javed Akhtar saab. Being such an accomplished writer himself, he uses such high level language while giving feedback ke contestants ko samajh mein hi nahi aata ki taarif kar rahe hai ya vaat laga rahe hai. The bewildered look on their faces is truly priceless :D
So while on the discussion of reality shows, let me ask what has been your all time favorite reality show? Mine remains The Apprentice. Whats yours?
And before ending the post, I suggest the following title track for MTV Roadies 6.0 - the game goes alien!! I think its pretty apt :)
Doston mein baitha main sutta pi raha
Abba ne mujhe sutta peete dekh liya
Ghar jab pahuncha to danda ho gaya
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
College mein gaya mujhe pyaar ho gaya,
Usne bhi mujhse mera sutta chheen liya
Sadkon pe ghooma main tanha reh gaya
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
Shaadi hui main husband ban gaya
Raat bhar *beep* main *beep* *beep* *beep* gaya
Khushiyon ki khatir mera sutta chheen gaya
B*beep* sutta.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
Abba ne mujhe sutta peete dekh liya
Ghar jab pahuncha to danda ho gaya
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
College mein gaya mujhe pyaar ho gaya,
Usne bhi mujhse mera sutta chheen liya
Sadkon pe ghooma main tanha reh gaya
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
Shaadi hui main husband ban gaya
Raat bhar *beep* main *beep* *beep* *beep* gaya
Khushiyon ki khatir mera sutta chheen gaya
B*beep* sutta.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Kutte!
Dharmendar paaji used to say to the Bollywood goons 'Kutte! kamine! main tera khoon pi jaaunga'
Well, some of the poplulace of the fairer sex seems to have taken that reference to men quite literally. coz every now and then, one reads/hears statements like 'All men are dogs!'
Maybe, maybe they are dogs.. Err, I mean we are dogs. But then the thing to remember is that even dogs are of different breeds.
Dogs are not all the same. The same goes with men.
Period.
And, after all, dogs are probably one of the most loyal, faithful creatures ;)
Well, some of the poplulace of the fairer sex seems to have taken that reference to men quite literally. coz every now and then, one reads/hears statements like 'All men are dogs!'
Maybe, maybe they are dogs.. Err, I mean we are dogs. But then the thing to remember is that even dogs are of different breeds.
Dogs are not all the same. The same goes with men.
Period.
And, after all, dogs are probably one of the most loyal, faithful creatures ;)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Its over between us
A very personal post.
When I woke up this morning with you besides me, I felt nothing. I felt no sense of attachment towards you. I did not even feel like looking at you. I guess time takes its toll.
We have been together for the past 4 years. You have always been there with me. In good times, as well as the forgettable ones. At times, I have been harsh with you; vented my frustration on you. But you never said a word. You bore silently. There was a time when I was very attached to you. But recently, and I hate to say this, I have been feeling empty towards you. I have even started considering leaving you. And I hate myself for thinking like this. After all that you have done for me. But what do I do. After all, I am just a normal 22 year old guy who gets attracted to prettier, fancier models. So before things go totally out of hand, I thought to dedicate a first and last post to you, my Nokia 6600.
I got this black beauty when I was in my 2nd year of college. It was quite a hot selling piece, just like the DPS mms, when daddy brought it home.
Now if you come from some other galaxy, and have never had your hands on this meteor of a phone, let me tell you about the most distinguishing features of this phone.
It is the best self defense weapon ever created. Musibat mein hamesha kaam aayega. If you ever happen to be cornered by some anti social creatures, never panic as long as you have the 6600. Just pick it up and throw it at your enemy. If it happens to catch any part of his body on the way, the goon will not be getting up for a long time. As I mentioned before, it is one meteor of a phone. Huge, heavy, bulky.. A solid piece of mass. Maybe in the years to come, the technologically advanced Japan might plan to load their missiles with 6600s.
It also comes inbuilt with a sensory-loss mechanism. Let me explain. Many a times it happens that phones happen to fall/slip out of your pocket and one does not realize till its too late. Well, with the 6600, be rest assured that it wont let you down. The moment it abandons you, you will sense it. coz as Sunny bhai would put it, "jab yeh dhai kilo ka phone kisi ke jeb se alag hota hai, to aadmi uthta nahi, uth jaata hai". (chee.. that was a bad one..) You would experience weightlessness and literally start floating in the air after having bore the weighty burden for so many years. And effectively, you would never be able to loose the phone. Dekhi nokia waalo ki advanced thinking. Am proud of those guys.
It is also the most handy paperweight that can be found in a proximity of a few cms.
Inspite of these wonderful add-ons, I have had thoughts of moving on from my 6600. There have been certain reasons for this. Sabse pehle to I have not been able to take instant pics; in the world of digicams, ab vga camera se kya tamboora pics lega. And videos ki to baat hi kahan karu. Some time back, I took a video of the Symonds-Sreesanth on-filed antiques. Such was the clarity of the video that it looked more like a scene from the Planet of the Apes; please note, no racism intended.
To add to the list, mere phone ki joystick ne barso pehle hi The Legend of Bhagat Singh dekh li thi aur bagawaat kar di thi. It has not been functioning properly since a long time. I have found life difficult due to it but somehow I managed through. But ab paani sar ke upar chad gaya hai. Joystick ke south mein situated keypad par located key 2 bhi ruth gayi hai mujhse. Recently when Kareena gave her number(9322x22x22) to me, I could not call her coz of my non-working key 2. Thats why you see her nowadays with Saif.
The other keys of the keypad have also become very hard. As hard as.. umm.. idly-vadas made by a Gurgaon ki kudi, the type of kudi who is under the impression that Chennai and Madras are two different states. (please excuse the pause in between. I wanted to compare the hardness to other things but then under 18s are not supposed to read such stuff)
The phone's surface is as smooth as the sultry and sexy coming-out-of-the-sea topless body of Navjot Singh Siddhu.
So due to all the above mentioned reasons, I am planning to get a new model. When I do get a new phone and call up Kareena, I wonder what Saif will do with the tattoo he has got.. Aah, maybe he will edit it to Karan. Future ka soch ke rakha hai bachhe ne. Smart boy.
Sorry to all the Kareena fans. I cannot reveal her entire number. For all those who were born with an Abacus in their hands and 'Permutation' was the first word they uttered, 9322x22x22 shouldn't be much of a problem.
When I woke up this morning with you besides me, I felt nothing. I felt no sense of attachment towards you. I did not even feel like looking at you. I guess time takes its toll.
We have been together for the past 4 years. You have always been there with me. In good times, as well as the forgettable ones. At times, I have been harsh with you; vented my frustration on you. But you never said a word. You bore silently. There was a time when I was very attached to you. But recently, and I hate to say this, I have been feeling empty towards you. I have even started considering leaving you. And I hate myself for thinking like this. After all that you have done for me. But what do I do. After all, I am just a normal 22 year old guy who gets attracted to prettier, fancier models. So before things go totally out of hand, I thought to dedicate a first and last post to you, my Nokia 6600.
I got this black beauty when I was in my 2nd year of college. It was quite a hot selling piece, just like the DPS mms, when daddy brought it home.
Now if you come from some other galaxy, and have never had your hands on this meteor of a phone, let me tell you about the most distinguishing features of this phone.
It is the best self defense weapon ever created. Musibat mein hamesha kaam aayega. If you ever happen to be cornered by some anti social creatures, never panic as long as you have the 6600. Just pick it up and throw it at your enemy. If it happens to catch any part of his body on the way, the goon will not be getting up for a long time. As I mentioned before, it is one meteor of a phone. Huge, heavy, bulky.. A solid piece of mass. Maybe in the years to come, the technologically advanced Japan might plan to load their missiles with 6600s.
It also comes inbuilt with a sensory-loss mechanism. Let me explain. Many a times it happens that phones happen to fall/slip out of your pocket and one does not realize till its too late. Well, with the 6600, be rest assured that it wont let you down. The moment it abandons you, you will sense it. coz as Sunny bhai would put it, "jab yeh dhai kilo ka phone kisi ke jeb se alag hota hai, to aadmi uthta nahi, uth jaata hai". (chee.. that was a bad one..) You would experience weightlessness and literally start floating in the air after having bore the weighty burden for so many years. And effectively, you would never be able to loose the phone. Dekhi nokia waalo ki advanced thinking. Am proud of those guys.
It is also the most handy paperweight that can be found in a proximity of a few cms.
Inspite of these wonderful add-ons, I have had thoughts of moving on from my 6600. There have been certain reasons for this. Sabse pehle to I have not been able to take instant pics; in the world of digicams, ab vga camera se kya tamboora pics lega. And videos ki to baat hi kahan karu. Some time back, I took a video of the Symonds-Sreesanth on-filed antiques. Such was the clarity of the video that it looked more like a scene from the Planet of the Apes; please note, no racism intended.
To add to the list, mere phone ki joystick ne barso pehle hi The Legend of Bhagat Singh dekh li thi aur bagawaat kar di thi. It has not been functioning properly since a long time. I have found life difficult due to it but somehow I managed through. But ab paani sar ke upar chad gaya hai. Joystick ke south mein situated keypad par located key 2 bhi ruth gayi hai mujhse. Recently when Kareena gave her number(9322x22x22) to me, I could not call her coz of my non-working key 2. Thats why you see her nowadays with Saif.
The other keys of the keypad have also become very hard. As hard as.. umm.. idly-vadas made by a Gurgaon ki kudi, the type of kudi who is under the impression that Chennai and Madras are two different states. (please excuse the pause in between. I wanted to compare the hardness to other things but then under 18s are not supposed to read such stuff)
The phone's surface is as smooth as the sultry and sexy coming-out-of-the-sea topless body of Navjot Singh Siddhu.
So due to all the above mentioned reasons, I am planning to get a new model. When I do get a new phone and call up Kareena, I wonder what Saif will do with the tattoo he has got.. Aah, maybe he will edit it to Karan. Future ka soch ke rakha hai bachhe ne. Smart boy.
Sorry to all the Kareena fans. I cannot reveal her entire number. For all those who were born with an Abacus in their hands and 'Permutation' was the first word they uttered, 9322x22x22 shouldn't be much of a problem.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Ding dong...
I am not able to open blogger. So I am currently typing this post in Billu's Notepad. There are better softwares but I just wanted to check if Old is Gold. Apparently not. I mean, common! Notepad! No ways yaar.
Yes, so I am not able to open blogger. For a matter of fact, I am not able to open anything else that is availabe the World Wide Web. There seems to be some problem with the optical lines that are the lifeline of all programmer's in the company. All I am able to do is open Google(thanks to the neat-and-clean-no-fussy look it has) and search for things that I don't even want to in the first place. In the process, I discovered that Google does not return anything for the following standalone searches - $,@,+,-,%,!,~,#,^,*,(,),=,{,},|, [,],\,;,:,',",<,>,?,/ (even though these are used by programmers almost every second).
I am not able to access my mails. The company's goddamn security policy does not allow access to external mail services like Yahoo, Gmail or others. Hey you, Larry and Sergey, are you hearing this? Your Google may have become a necessity to the world but you are still something "external" in my company. And on top of all this, the company's server has been behaving erratically(I can hear Joey laughing on that one too). So either I don't get most of the mails or they are delayed and arrive in one helluva fished(Oh no, I hated SRK saying it in OSO; but I still think it's a good substitute for the F word) up order.
Today has been that kind of a day. I got up really late for office...
*Voices in my head*
Voice #1: Ya right! What else did you expect ass. You start watching a Hindi movie past 12 at night..
Voice #2: But,..
Voice #1: I know it was Taare Zameen Par, but were you not watching it for the 2nd time..
Voice #2: Umm,..
Voice #1: And then you could not stop following it up with another one..
Voice #2: HEY! I followed it up with AMERICAN PIE - 6. You can't argue with that.
Voice #1:
*It could not argue with that*
So I had to skip my morning tea. And I am one of those fellows who can't do without it. So today my head-neck were going to be something like a spinning toy top. Just as I readhed office, I got a call from mom telling me that there was a theft attempt at our house. Maybe I should have seen that as a sign for the kind of day I was about to have.
So I settled down in my cubicle and figured out that I would be better off reading some ebook and listening to songs. So I made a playlist of some of my fav songs - Jal, Strings, Junoon, Parikrama, Bryan's and a few others.. I started with Zeest ka Sutta and just as they were swearing at the top of their voices, some wierd sound started coming from inside the pc. Some real squeaky sound like a sparrow that was struggling inside. I just did not have the will to find out what was wrong. (Of course I took out the headphones and inserted them again. That does not count as 'doing something'.) So I took them off and tried to concentrate on what I was reading. And then I remembered why I had developed the habit of listening to music in office. Basically three reasons:
1) To make an attempt (but-almost-all-the-time-futile) to avoid the chitter-chatter giggly stuff going on around me.
2) To stay away form the 'Jalebi' languages. (No offence intended. I have heard people who speak the langauge themselves use this word.)
3) To avoid the really loud guy who is in vicinity of my cubicle. Thank god, he does not overlap with category #1.
So with all the messing up going around, it is almost lunch time. And I am still typing in Notepad! I go up to the guys with whom I have lunch..
Me: *standing at one of the guy's cubicle*
Guy #1: *empty thought bubble*
Guy #2: *empty thought bubble*
Me: *empty thought bubble*
Me: Umm,..
Guy #1: Hmm..
Guy #2: Mast Kalandar
(Guys are generally not too much into communication. But it works out fine.)
So we are about to cross the road. We are walking on the right side of the road. I look to my right and see no vehicles coming and so take the plunge onto the road from the walkway.
*Frantic voices inside the head*
Voice #1- .. : IDIOT! Its a goddamn one-way.. Look to your *BANG*
Oh no, I am all right. But the voices in there thought all was lost. I don't blame them either. An SUV doing something like what seemed the speed of light zoomed past my body parts. Let me tell you one thing; if there had been the slightest of contacts, I sure would not be able to do the thing that Joey follows up with ' How u doin' ' :) . We reach the restaurant and guess what's the first item on the menu which my eyes fall upon - 'Ghantaghar ke kadhi chaval'..
Yes, so I am not able to open blogger. For a matter of fact, I am not able to open anything else that is availabe the World Wide Web. There seems to be some problem with the optical lines that are the lifeline of all programmer's in the company. All I am able to do is open Google(thanks to the neat-and-clean-no-fussy look it has) and search for things that I don't even want to in the first place. In the process, I discovered that Google does not return anything for the following standalone searches - $,@,+,-,%,!,~,#,^,*,(,),=,{,},|, [,],\,;,:,',",<,>,?,/ (even though these are used by programmers almost every second).
I am not able to access my mails. The company's goddamn security policy does not allow access to external mail services like Yahoo, Gmail or others. Hey you, Larry and Sergey, are you hearing this? Your Google may have become a necessity to the world but you are still something "external" in my company. And on top of all this, the company's server has been behaving erratically(I can hear Joey laughing on that one too). So either I don't get most of the mails or they are delayed and arrive in one helluva fished(Oh no, I hated SRK saying it in OSO; but I still think it's a good substitute for the F word) up order.
Today has been that kind of a day. I got up really late for office...
*Voices in my head*
Voice #1: Ya right! What else did you expect ass. You start watching a Hindi movie past 12 at night..
Voice #2: But,..
Voice #1: I know it was Taare Zameen Par, but were you not watching it for the 2nd time..
Voice #2: Umm,..
Voice #1: And then you could not stop following it up with another one..
Voice #2: HEY! I followed it up with AMERICAN PIE - 6. You can't argue with that.
Voice #1:
*It could not argue with that*
So I had to skip my morning tea. And I am one of those fellows who can't do without it. So today my head-neck were going to be something like a spinning toy top. Just as I readhed office, I got a call from mom telling me that there was a theft attempt at our house. Maybe I should have seen that as a sign for the kind of day I was about to have.
So I settled down in my cubicle and figured out that I would be better off reading some ebook and listening to songs. So I made a playlist of some of my fav songs - Jal, Strings, Junoon, Parikrama, Bryan's and a few others.. I started with Zeest ka Sutta and just as they were swearing at the top of their voices, some wierd sound started coming from inside the pc. Some real squeaky sound like a sparrow that was struggling inside. I just did not have the will to find out what was wrong. (Of course I took out the headphones and inserted them again. That does not count as 'doing something'.) So I took them off and tried to concentrate on what I was reading. And then I remembered why I had developed the habit of listening to music in office. Basically three reasons:
1) To make an attempt (but-almost-all-the-time-futile) to avoid the chitter-chatter giggly stuff going on around me.
2) To stay away form the 'Jalebi' languages. (No offence intended. I have heard people who speak the langauge themselves use this word.)
3) To avoid the really loud guy who is in vicinity of my cubicle. Thank god, he does not overlap with category #1.
So with all the messing up going around, it is almost lunch time. And I am still typing in Notepad! I go up to the guys with whom I have lunch..
Me: *standing at one of the guy's cubicle*
Guy #1: *empty thought bubble*
Guy #2: *empty thought bubble*
Me: *empty thought bubble*
Me: Umm,..
Guy #1: Hmm..
Guy #2: Mast Kalandar
(Guys are generally not too much into communication. But it works out fine.)
So we are about to cross the road. We are walking on the right side of the road. I look to my right and see no vehicles coming and so take the plunge onto the road from the walkway.
*Frantic voices inside the head*
Voice #1- .. : IDIOT! Its a goddamn one-way.. Look to your *BANG*
Oh no, I am all right. But the voices in there thought all was lost. I don't blame them either. An SUV doing something like what seemed the speed of light zoomed past my body parts. Let me tell you one thing; if there had been the slightest of contacts, I sure would not be able to do the thing that Joey follows up with ' How u doin' ' :) . We reach the restaurant and guess what's the first item on the menu which my eyes fall upon - 'Ghantaghar ke kadhi chaval'..
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