Warning: This is a blog that lacks intellectuality. My levels of IQ stand as lofty as that of Paris Hilton's pet pomeranian and my knowledge of current affairs is as deep as Mandira Bedi's of cricket. I mostly ramble about the trivialities of my everyday life, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, friends n family, movies, cricket; basically thoughts that would enter the mind of any Sita, Gita or Rita.

Note: I was busy drooling over the pages of Playboy during my English classes in school. So please bare with any grammatical blunders or the obvious lack of classic literary writing. (I was a little confused between the selection of 'bear' and 'bare' in the sentence above so I resorted to my favorite inky-pinky-ponky routine)

If you happen to pass by, feel free to register your presence. coz yeh duniya bahot chhoti hai aur yeh zindagi bahot lambi. Kya pata, someday somewhere, you and I might end up discussing about it over a cup of garam garam masala tea.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

public IPL getIplThoughts(Cheer cheerleaders)

Don't bother yourself with the title. We engineers have a habit of acting all geeky n nerdy at times. I just wanted to pen down some random thoughts about the IPL so far. A little following of the IPL matches might prove in handy for a further read.
  • I guess that Bangalore and Hyderabad must be the hottest places in India. Atleast thats what the costume of their cheerleaders suggests. I am planning to go see it. Don't want to miss such an opportunity. HEY, I meant the match! This is the only match left in Bangalore that falls on a Saturday.
  • Call me a purist, but for me, Dravid's straight drive of Kulkarni was the shot of the tourament. Only one man could have matched it. And, Yuvi pulled off the catch of the tournament.
  • Somehow the idea of guy cheerleaders freaks me out; just like Ross is freaked out by the thought of a male Nanny n Chandler by the thought of a male nurse.
  • Aamir Sohail, as a commentator, sucks bigtime.
  • I could not stop laughing when Rahul Dravid n Wasim Jaffer decided to open the innings of a Twenty20 match when their side had to chase 222. Poor Mallya.
  • Shanthakumaran Sreesanth would have made sure that the Kings XI Punjab came last in the Fair Play Award if Bhajji had not come to his rescue.
  • I just realized the irony: the ever so agreesive Sreesanth's name begins with the word 'Shant'
  • I was rolling on the floor laughing when, after Chennai's 4th consecutive victory, Zrikkanth started singing 'Chennai chennai Zuper king, chennai chennai Zuper king'. It was abZZZolutely hillarious.
  • In terms of whats-right-and-whats-wrong, I don't think cheerleaders should be allowed onto a cricket field. Its supposed to be a family game after all.
  • Its sad that Wizard of Oz never got to be captain of Australia. I believe he has one of the smartest cricketing brains.
  • I am eagerly waiting to see the 2 greats - Jayasuriya and Sachin walk side by side and open the batting.

Eureka !

Eureka! I rediscovered gravity.

Newton saw the apple fall. Well, I saw the entire tree fall. It rained last night in Bangalore. And it rained lions n tigers. The thunder, the lightning, the sheer volume of the rains. It was scary. So damn scary that if Gabbar would have been around, he would have hidden in his mommy ka pallu and started singing 'Main kabhi batlata nahin'.

So as most of India is sweating to the heat of the summer, Bengalurueans are being hailstoned. I remember the scene in Hum Tum where Saif says 'January mein baarish'. Yaar, idhar to saala har mahine mein baarish hoti hai. Kaash Newton zinda hota. He would have been able to see so many falling rain drops.

Eureka eureka,
Of football and Kaka,
Of F1 and Mika,
Eureka eureka,
I want to have a pizza paprika,
I want to fire a bazooka,
Eureka eureka.

Plz don't start aiming any bazookas at me. coz, when did Shakespeare say that poetry should make sense :)

Saturday, April 26, 2008


I unlocked the door of my house and was taken aback by the number of mosquitoes swarming inside. And by 'number', I dont mean a few here n there which would prompt a girl to say 'Ouch, kitne machhar kaat rahe hai' and the boyfriend to reply 'thats coz u r so sweet jaan'. They were in a 'number' enough to freak out even Andrew Symonds. (Thats the first name that came to my mind.) So, scared as hell, I took off and rushed to the nearest shop.

Me : Boss, mosquitoes ke liye sab se effective kya hai?
Shopkeeper : Sir, Hit.
Me: : Ok, give me one Hit then.

*I take out my wallet to give the money.*

Shopkeeper : Brush chaiye?
Me : ?? Kya
Shopkeeper : Brush
Me : Kaisa brush!!?
Shopkeeper : Toothbrush
Me : !!! :( :(

Good to see total strangers so worried about my teeth condition. Good to see that there is still some goodness left in the world. Par sambhal ke uncle, zyaada bola to battissi tod dunga :D

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Cometh the man, cometh the hour

The saying is supposed to be the other way around. But then there are some men who dictate the way history books are written. Men who scale heights which the ordianry mind cannot even fathom. Men who leave a mark of their own. Men, without whose acknowledgement, even time cannot tick.

Today, India's favorite son turns 35. Cricket in India is what it is today because of this one man. It may loose its religion status in the decades to come; people may stop following it; people may stop talking about cricket; but this man will reside in the head n heart of every cricket lover as long as there is air n water on earth.

It has always been a pleasure watching him bat.. Cheers.. to the living legend..

Monday, April 21, 2008

Lesson learnt

Its true how life teaches you a lot of lessons. Some pleasant, some harsh. Some small, some big. But all, worth remembering.

So yesterday eve, just as the sun was about to set, I head for home. Grab a glass of masala chai on the way. Aah, how lovely it tasted. Reach home, slump in front of the tv. The match between Mumbai Bangalore is about to start. Order a couple of pizzas - American Heat n Tandoori Paneer to be precise.

The pizza delivery boy rings the bell in less than half an hour's time. The pizzas look yummy and colorful with all the olives, babycorn, paneer, jalapenos, green chillies. For seasonings, sprinkle some pepper, oregano, red chilli powder. Open the bottle of Thums Up. Look up at the tv screen.
Zaheer bowls to Jayasuriya. The ball nips back into him and hits him on the pad. The batsmen decide to sneak a single. Zaheer charges in towards the ball, picks it up, turns, aims towards the non-striker's end, and lets go off the ball. Brilliant. Bang on target! Jayasuriya is caught short off the line. One of the saddest ways of getting out. Tears start rolling down my eyes. And also, Jayasuriya is a great player. More tears. He starts his walk back to the pavilion. But I can't watch it. Eyes all blood red, tears still rolling down as if gates to some dam reservoir have been opened.. Jayasuriya reaches his teammates and takes a seat, obviously dejected. The tears continue. Why god why! why did this happen. I guess its all my fault. I should not get so much involved. The tears are unstoppable.

Lesson learnt: Never take your fingers anywhere near your eyes after you have used red chilli powder.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Morning musings

I am going to leave office early today. At 6:30. Don't you worry, I am not going to bother the reader about my entire day schedule, and when I plan to have lunch, and what I had in breakfast. (I had Idli-sambhar n rice pongal by the way :) ) The reason I will be leaving early is that my roomie is leaving Bengaluru. So gotta see him off. (I doubt whether that is correct usage) Come to think of it, I cannot recall the last time I left office before - jab ghadi ki chhoti sui west mein point karti hai aur ghadi ki lambi sui north mein point karti hai. Goegraphy happened to be one of my favorite subjects in school. To uska asar to rahega hi na.

And recently I have been bitten by the work bug. To main subah subah kuch zyaada hi jaldi tapak padta hun office mein - jab ghadi ki chhoti sui south-west mein point karti hai aur ghadi ki lambi sui south mein point karti hai. Arre, ek baar bola na geography was my favorite. I have been getting the feeling that I don't live in Bangalore. coz this Bangalore is supposed to have very bad traffic and thats why the Unlock Bangalore campaign has been started. But due to my wierd office-going-comingBack-timings, I don't see any vehicles on road. The roads all seem like expressways to me.

Now this schedule has had a big impact on one of my addictions - television. So much that I am using the word television and not TV! There was a time when I used to eat, drink, sleep tv. bole to mere ghar mein it used to be switched on while I was watching it, while I was eating, while I was studying, while I was sleeping.. I used to watch it even when there was nothing worthwhile coming on it. Thats how I started watching golf. If you think Test Matches are boring, you need to watch guys walking miles n miles, halting every now n then, doing some samba dance as they position themselves, frantically trying to figure out the wind directions and the slope of the ground, and when they get bored with these things, thankfully hitting the ball.
And, I had even started following Oprah! Now thats HUGE for a guy. As huge as a gal knowing who is Mpumelelo Mbangwa. Not what. Who.

Its true that getting rid of an addiction like this is good, but things have shifted to the other extreme now. So much that recently I found it very strange when I grabbed the 6 inch long 2 inch wide remote. I had to actually surf through all the channels to find Espn Star. I had forgotten that something wonderful called Star World also exists. Its been months since I watched a Friends episode, or watched a movie on Star movies, or simply ogled at Ftv. Entire cricket serieses (my plural for series) have started and gotten over under my umbrella of ignorance. Itna ignorance that a couple of days back, I asked in public 'Yeh ICL kab shuru hone wala hai?' Luckily, everybody thought I was asking about IPL. Which, due to that same stupid question ki meherbani, I know is starting today.

And according to inside information, I have come to know that SRK is going to be the 12th man. He has decided not to let go of any opportunity to display himself. He originally wanted to be the umpire, but in the practice sessions, he was raising a lot of unnecessary fingers instead of just one (due to his 'Kya aap panchvi claas se tez hai' and Krazzy 4 shoots).

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Sweeney (razor) Todd

I haven't written a post for quite some days. Not that I am not in a mood to pen down my thoughts; I have started on some posts but they have only ended up as drafts. But then last night, things changed. Something happened. Something terrible... I watched Sweeney Todd.

Now this is a movie which stars our charismatic Johnny Depp. The plot goes on something like this: After years in exile for a crime he didn't commit, Sweeney Todd, returns to London to find his wife dead and his daughter in the hands of an evil Judge. In his anger, Sweeney goes on a murderous rampage on all London; opens a barber shop in which he lures his victims in with a charming smile before casually ending their life with a flick of his razor across their neck.

Pay close attention to the last sentence. Coz thats all that happens in the movie. Now what I have not told you till now is that there are no dialogues in the movie. Almost literally. No exaggeration. Coz whenever any character has to speak any damn thing, they start flexing their vocal cords and start singing. Opera type singing. Now it is fine when you do the opera thing once in a while, like in DCH, but not everytime someone has to say something. Everybody starts singing when the hero makes entry, they sing when the heroine makes entry, sing when they go into flashback, sing when they are in the present, sing when they go in the future, sing when the villian makes entry, and sing even when a street dog makes entry.. So you pretty much get the idea what I mean.

Now I know that the movie is supposed to be like a musical, and the costumes, make up, art direction are all worth applauding, but sitting through the movie seemed like a test of human tolerance levels. I could not see the poor villian showcasing his evilness by singing melodiously. Just imagine Gabbar Singh asking 'Kitne aadmi the' and 'Ab tera kya hoga kalia' by singing in the tune of 'Piyu bole piya bole'.

And as per me, this is how actually the plot of the movie is:
Sing. Sweeney enters London. Sing. Opens barber shop. Sing. Lure customers. Sing. Sharpen razor. Sing. Apply shaving cream. Sing. Start shaving. Sing. Use razor to kill them. Sing.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Dead Man's Chest

In the Pirates of the Caribbean, the Dead Man's Chest contains the beating heart of Davy Jones, with which one can rule the earth. The chest contains the most valuable object.
This post here will contain my most treasured pics.
With some friends, you dont need to "catch up" on things. Even when you meet after a long time, it does not seem that long. You just seem to carry on from where you left.

From R to L: Kaks, Shrads, Sam, Me, Vids

This was the first pic in the post.
Kashid beach.. a lovely silhouette.. the setting sun.. the reflections in the water..