Warning: This is a blog that lacks intellectuality. My levels of IQ stand as lofty as that of Paris Hilton's pet pomeranian and my knowledge of current affairs is as deep as Mandira Bedi's of cricket. I mostly ramble about the trivialities of my everyday life, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, friends n family, movies, cricket; basically thoughts that would enter the mind of any Sita, Gita or Rita.

Note: I was busy drooling over the pages of Playboy during my English classes in school. So please bare with any grammatical blunders or the obvious lack of classic literary writing. (I was a little confused between the selection of 'bear' and 'bare' in the sentence above so I resorted to my favorite inky-pinky-ponky routine)

If you happen to pass by, feel free to register your presence. coz yeh duniya bahot chhoti hai aur yeh zindagi bahot lambi. Kya pata, someday somewhere, you and I might end up discussing about it over a cup of garam garam masala tea.

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Reality is *beep beep beep*

Q. Who is the most hard working person at MTV?
a)Rannvijay
b)Raghu
c)The person with his hand on the beeper
Here's one more:

Q. Name a 4 letter word that starts with 'F', ends with 'K', and if you can't get one you can use your hands.
A. Fork

What!! You thought I was referring to 'The F word'. Of course not. I refrain from the use of such foul words on this blog. One has to maintain decency. After all, Abhishek-Aishwarya ke hone waale bachhe bhi yeh blog padhte hai :P

But seriously, I cannot digest the appetite of these Reality contestants for The F word. Do none of them have a vocabulary better than a Panchvi pass so that they don't have to resort to use The F word in every sentence. Didn't the contestants learn in their schooling grammar that there are only 3 articles in the English language. And that the usage of The F word should not be synonymous with those of articles.

And whats with all the judges in these reality shows. While some of them are trying to imitate the likes of Simon Cowell, the rest are busy fighting with each other probably trying to convince Ekkkta to cast them in her latest venture, Mahabharata. The judges of Comedy circus are the only ones that seem to be behaving on the saner side. And the show is also pretty good. Good light hearted comedy with lots of variety.

Mere favorite judge is Javed Akhtar saab. Being such an accomplished writer himself, he uses such high level language while giving feedback ke contestants ko samajh mein hi nahi aata ki taarif kar rahe hai ya vaat laga rahe hai. The bewildered look on their faces is truly priceless :D

So while on the discussion of reality shows, let me ask what has been your all time favorite reality show? Mine remains The Apprentice. Whats yours?

And before ending the post, I suggest the following title track for MTV Roadies 6.0 - the game goes alien!! I think its pretty apt :)

Doston mein baitha main sutta pi raha
Abba ne mujhe sutta peete dekh liya
Ghar jab pahuncha to danda ho gaya
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.

College mein gaya mujhe pyaar ho gaya,
Usne bhi mujhse mera sutta chheen liya
Sadkon pe ghooma main tanha reh gaya
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.

Shaadi hui main husband ban gaya
Raat bhar *beep* main *beep* *beep* *beep* gaya
Khushiyon ki khatir mera sutta chheen gaya
B*beep* sutta.

B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
B*beep* sutta, sutta na mila.

*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.
*beeeep* *beeeep*, *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Main aisa kyon hoon

Here is the Unspectacular Quirk tag:
  1. Link the person who tagged you.
  2. Mention the rules on your blog.
  3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
  4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
  5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs, letting them know that they have been tagged.
While I was having my cup of tea, Bhai with chai left a comment on my blog informing me that I was tagged and Trinaa who keeps things simple decided to complicate the already cluttered blogger database. Thank you both for tagging yours truly :)

I tag those:
  • who have not tagged me before
  • whom I have not tagged before
  • who have not already done the tag
Nidhi
Keshi
Kanan
Solitaire
Pizzadude
Think tank
(names are in ascending order of the blogger name lengths)



I cannot concentrate much in the evenings. So in school/college during exam times, I used to sleep real early, say 8 or 9 and wake up at 1 or 2 in the night. And I could not start studying before having tea, followed by taking a bath. Yes, a bath at that time in the night.

Its not an easy job being my roomie. I need to sleep with the fan on. No matter how cold it is.

I have 2 modes of shopping: On-the-spot-spontaneous-shopping and the other overly-planned-time-consuming-shopping where I will go and check out every shop in and around. The wife's not going to do much complaining I guess.

You will not find any tangled wires around me. I like to have things straight n simple.

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!* I am Joey.

Thank heavens to those people who put the T9 dictionary in mobile phones. I jus dn gt d kewl sms lingo. K den. Chao til d nxt pst :)

*except with really really close ones

Monday, July 21, 2008

Yeh to gaya!

Oh no!! It is very sad. But then some things happen. Not everything is in our hands. Destiny plays its role too. Fate and time took their toll on him. He has lost his senses. Nobody can help him now.


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Ram Gopal Varma wants to remake Aag!


Friday, July 18, 2008

THE adoption letter: Classic Joey

Season 10. Episode 5: The One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits.
Script courtesy http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/

Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.

Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!

Chandler: Thanks!

Monica: Thank you!

(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)

Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.

Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.

Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".

Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!

Monica: Clearly we were wrong.

Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.

Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.

Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."

Chandler: So excited about your letter!

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Ross: What... what you working on?

Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...

Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?

Joey: What did I just say?

Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change.
Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.

Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!

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Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.

Chandler: (reading) I don’t... uh... understand.

Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?

Monica: (also reading it) It doesn’t make any sense.

Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!

Chandler: On every word?

Joey: Yep!

Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)

Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.

Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?

Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.

Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.

Joey: Why not?

Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!

Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Symonds the cutest

Some days back, I saw the movie 10,000 BC. It was an ok-types timepass movie. All the actors had scary makeup though, trying to generate a feel of the pre-historic era. There was this young boy who seemed like a look alike of Andrew Symonds. And apparently, he looked the cutest.

That is Andrew Symonds. So you can imagine how scary the others would have looked :D

Friday, July 11, 2008

Stay safe

I live in Bangalore. We all employees received the following mail few minutes back:

Dear all,

We have just received information that there are communal disturbances in the city. As a precautionary measure, you are requested to leave the office immediately.

In case there is any emergency work, the same can be rescheduled.

So all you out there who happen to be reading this and are in Bangalore, please stay safe. Also pass on the message to friends/family.

New life mantra

For quite some time, my life mantra was: LIVE life, don't analyze it.

But I observed and analyzed(thats where the mantra is nullified) that I was not able to follow it. So I have come up with a newer, easier life mantra:

"Learn to laugh at yourself; and the world cannot make fun of you."

And the best side effect of following this mantra is that one can never run short of laughter. And, laughter is the best medicine :D

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Title ko maar goli

I picked up this tag from Solitaire. The rules of the tag are:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Use only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

Now while using Flickr, some funny pics came up. So I will first put up the funnier ones. The actual mosaic image is towards the end of the post.

1. What is your first name?

Apparently lots of weird images came up when I searched for my name. Some censorable ones too popped up :D


2. What is your favorite food? right now?

THATS my favorite food?!! No wonder I am number 1 on the Hit list of the PETA campaigners !


3. What high school did you go to?

Oh yes, that was my high school. I was in Griffyndoor. And also the Seeker, captain of the Quidditch team


4. What is your favorite color?

Note: There's nothing funny about this pic.

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

Maybe, the ship's full of hot chicks :D

6. What is your favorite drink?

Some beautifool fools for a fool like me...

7. What is your dream vacation?

Most men would pay anything for this kind of a vacation ;)

8. What is your favorite dessert?

Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin, na munkin hai. Those are police vans in the pic.

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

How did the Flickr people know that Playboy is my favorite magazine!! :D

10. What do you love most in life?

No ways. I am neither a workaholic nor so tech savvy...

11. What is one word that describes you?

Maybe, its got something to do with the saying 'Men are dogs'

12. What is your user name?

I would love to know what those gals are upto :D

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Here's the actual mosaic with more appropriate pics. Feel free to clarify any answers. And also feel free to take up the tag.


 
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