Season 10. Episode 5: The One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits.
Script courtesy http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/
Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!
Chandler: Thanks!
Monica: Thank you!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!
Monica: Clearly we were wrong.
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."
Chandler: So excited about your letter!
Ross: What... what you working on?
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?
Joey: What did I just say?
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change.
Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler: (reading) I don’t... uh... understand.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: (also reading it) It doesn’t make any sense.
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Chandler: On every word?
Joey: Yep!
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.